01 Apr

Announcing Thrift Shop Streaming

Your Past is Our Future

Short on cash but long on inspiration for your media community? RealEyes Media is pleased to announce the next big thing for budget streaming: Thrift Shop Streaming as a Service!

How it Works

Using our proprietary VHS to 4K HLS transcoding system VHLS™, get ready to stream your weird library of 10¢secondhand VHS tapes to the world!

Insert our extra-fancy VHLS™ video player to your Geocities, MySpace, or Xenga page to wow hundreds of your friends, and watch those :poop: ripple through your comments. It even works on mobile, so your friends can scatter :poop: from anywhere!

The Revolutions Start Now

Not sold yet? Check out all these Features:

  • 4k Upconverting for Static Lines

  • Monetize your stream with retro ad insertion

  • Auto-rewind plugin included (hardware available wherever lesser goods are sold)

  • Auto-unspools the VHS periodically to maintain realism, and continuously delivers to the nearest Interstate median once completely unrolled *Note: This feature cannot be disabled
  • Batteries not included

Interested?

Contact us via fax at 1-888-VHS4YOU, and write the coupon code #aprilfools2018 in a purple sparkly gel pen to receive BIG discounts! Broken printers are standing by.

 

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Comments (2)

Scott Sheridan
April 2, 2018 Reply

Cool, but do you support Betamax?

    Jun Heider
    April 2, 2018 Reply

    No. :)

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